America’s grandfather in chief, President Joe Biden, wants every American to know, “There’s no such thing as someone else’s child.”  Unless it’s his seventh grandchild, Navy Joan Roberts, who his son, Hunter, carelessly sired with former stripper, Lunden Alexis Roberts.  That child is someone else’s child who must never be acknowledged and most certainly should never bear the prized Biden family name.  

Five years ago, when Hunter was on what he calls his sexual “rampages,” the First Son became a fourth time dad.  Hunter claims that he has “no recollection” of impregnating the woman to whom he must now pay child support.  He is vigorously fighting to keep the fruit of his rampage from legally acquiring his last name.  The 53-year-old is also petitioning the court to lower his monthly financial obligations, claiming poverty from behind a wall of high priced, Washington power lawyers.  Presiding Judge Holly Meyer has granted Hunter until the end of the week to properly account for his murky money making endeavors.  Meyer also advises Baby Mama Lunden to dig up the names of the mysterious benefactors generously supporting Hunter’s mid-life reinvention as a fledgling artist.

Fortunately, Lunden studied crime scene investigation as an undergraduate at George Washington University.  The 32-year-old single mom will have to deploy exceptional sleuthing skills and steady her nerve to confront the rolling crime scene that is Hunter Biden and the Biden Family, Inc