No mere mortal will convince President Joe Biden to abandon his reelection quest.  Last week, the indignant incumbent told ABC News that it would take "the Lord Almighty," himself, to descend from the heavens and personally deliver the message.  On Monday, the president informed congressional Democrats that the party's primary voters "have spoken clearly and decisively" and that all doubts regarding his candidacy must come to an end.

In the two weeks since the president's debate debacle, the Biden Clan has closed ranks.  Administration officials tell reporters that First Lady Jill Biden is lashing out at skeptics questioning her 81-year-old husband's electoral viability.  Hunter Biden has been promoted from family bag man to "de facto gatekeeper."  NBC News reports that alarmed White House aides are frantically asking, "What the hell is happening?"

One panicked source tells former New York Times media columnist Ben Smith that major policy recommendations mysteriously disappear through the White House chief of staff "into an opaque circle," raising concerns that consequential decisions "are made without [the president]."

For Biden, however, the Oval Office is less a workplace than a personal milestone.  As he explained, last week, if voters ultimately choose his arch nemesis, Trump the Destroyer of Democracy, “I’ll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did as good a job as I know I can do, that’s what this is about."