It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a Chinese spy balloon! After allowing a 2,000 pound Chinese spy balloon the size of three buses to float across the continental United States, one week ago, the Biden administration is no longer taking chances on more bad headlines.  Over the weekend, three more unidentified objects flying high above North America were shot down by the United States military.  Following the Pentagon’s surprising refusal to rule out the possibility of an alien invasion, National Security Council flack, retired Navy Admiral John Kirby reassured the public that Mars has not yet begun to attack.

Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle say they are not satisfied with the lack of information emanating from the White House.  Senator Marco Rubio, vice chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee points out, “NORAD’s [North American Aerospace Defense Command] has been around almost 65 years.  We’ve never shot anything down, and in eight days we’ve shot down four things.”  One defense official provoked more alarm by explaining that the military has only recently ratcheted up its surveillance capabilities at high altitudes.  Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell asks if that these incursions represent “something more nefarious that we’ve somehow been missing all this time?”

Former NORAD director of operations Retired Maj. Gen. Scott Clancy tells The Hill newspaper, “It smells to me.” Time to wake up and smell the Chinese oolong tea.